Monday, February 25, 2008

Wallflower

Hillary: "Hi, handsome. Have you decided who you're taking to the prom this year?"
Voters: "Not yet, but I'm leaning pretty far towards someone."
H: "I hope it's me!"
V: "I'm kind of surprised you even want to go, after what happened last year."
H: "I'll tell you a secret: I let that tailhound take me to the junior prom just so I could meet you."

V: "I kinda got that impression. He was dancing with every hot girl there, and left you by yourself. Why didn't you get mad?"
H: "I didn't want to look like a shrew. I wanted to make sure I had a date for the senior prom."
V: "Well, it's that time again."
H: "Yep. It's MY turn now. This will be OUR year."
V: "Hold on; I didn't say I was taking you."
H: "Oh, sure, you have to say that to be polite to the other girl, but you will. You know you will."
V: "The other girl is very attractive."
H: "But can she dance? I have experience as a dancer."
V: "Yeah, I've seen you dance. But I like her style better."
H: "She has no substance. She's an airhead."
V: "That's not fair. She's an excellent student, and is great at public speaking."
H: "Oh, she stole that material from another girl's paper."
V: "Actually, she and her girlfriend worked on that paper together."
H: "Whatever. Let's look at this dispassionately."
V: "But I want to feel passionate about my prom date."
H: "What do you want? You want me to fake a sweet Southern accent? 'Cause I can do it."
V: "Now you're getting shrill."
H: "My-my feelings are hurt. Must...not...cry...unless you find vulnerability attractive."
V: "Why do you want to be my date so bad?"
H: "Because this is our senior year. It's now or never!"
V: "What if it's never?"
H: "You know what? I might just have to talk to your parents. They always liked me. They'll MAKE you take me."
V: "Way to win me over, Hill. Besides, they've seen how much I like the other girl, and will pretty much support whatever makes me happy."
H: "PICK ME, GODDAMMIT! I'LL MAKE YOU HAPPY! I CAN SING! LET ME SING FOR YOU!"
You're my obsession
You're my obsession
Who do you want me to be
To make you sleep with me?
V: "This is getting sickening, Hill. Please go."
H: "But what will I do for the prom?"
V: "I hear Ralph needs a date."
H: "Ralph ALWAYS needs a date."
V: "Don't be bitter, Hill. Maybe the prom isn't your thing. Can't you just content yourself with Student Council?"
H: "I guess I'll have to, no thanks to YOU!"
V: "You have to go now. I have to get ready."
H: "You'll be sorry you ever chose her."
V: "Maybe, maybe not. But it's MY decision, isn't it?"
H: (mutters) "Not if I can help it."
V: "What's that?"
H: (brightly) "Nothing! See you around, big boy."

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