I have created a new dance step, which I have modestly named "Soldier Boy", after yours truly.
I would attempt to describe the dance, but (a) you would confuse it with my experiences with a paid escort, and (b) your attempts to approximate my level of competence would be laughable.
Your envy of me may cause you to threaten fisticuffs, but that would be a grave mistake, as I would retaliate with a firearm.
Therefore my advice to you is to enjoy my prowess, whether it be my limber ballroom skills, or my equally laudatory efforts in the boudoir, wherein the natural conclusion of my lovemaking is likely to be quite voluminous.
(Please buy my record, won't you? I suffer from a speech impediment that renders me incapable of pronouncing the second half of nearly every word.)