Wednesday, November 08, 2006

I'll have a blue (state) Christmas without you...

This Thanksgiving, I have a lot to be thankful for:

  • Democrats take the House.
  • Democrats take the Senate.
  • Democrats take the state Governorships.
  • Sleazebag Vernon Robinson (R) is handily defeated by incumbent NC Congressman Brad Miller (D), and appears ready to give up trying for elective office. One point of Robinson's attack ad was that Miller was supported by an American Muslim organization, equating all Muslims with terrorists. The one time when Robinson ever won anything, he failed to show up on 20 out of 22 occasions. Bye bye.
  • Rick Santorum loses Pennsylvania. It's probably behind the couch.
  • Jim Webb (D) defeats George "Macaca" Allen (R) in conservative stronghold Virginia. The razor-thin margin goes to show that, once you get outside of NOVA, the rest of the state is still firmly Red.
  • Rush "model of integrity" Limbaugh admits to hypocrisy by saying that, now that the election is over, he no longer has to pretend that he supports the Republican asshats he has been praising.
  • Rummy resigns. Bush admits to lying to the American people when he said he expected Rumsfeld to serve for the remainder of his (Bush's) term: "...the only way to answer that question, and to get you onto another question was to give you that answer..."
  • John "I am the walrus" Bolton may be next on the chopping block.
  • Karl Rove's star is tarnished. "I obviously was working harder in the campaign than he was," said W.
  • Nancy Pelosi (D) is headed to become the first woman to be third in line for the Presidency. The US has never had a female President, Vice President, Speaker of the House, President Pro-Tempore of the Senate, or Chief Justice. We have had a female Attorney General (the first: Janet Reno-Democrat) and a female Secretary of State (the first: Madeleine Albright-Democrat). Her daughter Alexandra's Journeys with George is a classic.
  • All those Republican scandals, including (allegedly):
    • Jack Abramoff (bribery)
    • Mark Foley (NAMBLAn)
    • Don Sherwood (mistress-choking)
    • John Sweeney (wife-beating)
    • Curt Weldon (favors for his daughter's foreign employers)
    • Tom DeLay (you name it)
    • Bob Ney (misuse of public funds)
    • Randy Cunningham (bribery, prostitution)
    • Conrad Burns (Abramoffery)
    • Charles Taylor (money laundering, fraud)
    • Duke Cunningham (bribery, tax evasion, fraud)
    • Scooter Libby (Plame affair)
    • Dick Cheney (Energy Task Force secrecy, Halliburton, marksmanship, etc.)
    • Armstrong Williams (journalism for hire)
    • Jeff Gannon (fake journalism)
    • Alberto Gonzales (torture)
    • John Ashcroft (campaign finance)
    • Michael "heckuva job" Brown (Katrina)
    • George Bush (himself)
    • all those sex scandals

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