I stumbled across a website that links "The Da Vinci Code" with Moses and DNA and the pineal gland and Jeanne d'Arc and the Ark of the Covenant and and and...oh, yes, they claim to be 99th-generation descendents of Jesus and Mary Magdalene.
They offer a free DNA test so you can find out if you too are a 99th-generation descendent of Mr. and Mrs. Christ. No, you don't have to send in a vial of spit; you merely listen to a 5-minute MP3, and if you feel your pineal gland a-rustlin', congratulations!
It's amazing how one never heard of this before Dan Brown's novel. I'd heard of the Jesus/Mary connection, and the Knights Templar, and the Prieure de Sion, etc., of course, because that was all contained in the book "Holy Blood, Holy Grail", which pre-dated "The DaVinci Code" by a couple of decades, but which an English lawsuit decided did not form the basis of Brown's bestseller. You know, the book by Baigent and Lee, the guys whose surnames were rearranged by Brown into "Lee Teabing".
Anyway, back to our story: Somehow, there were enlightenment and healing techniques taught by Jesus and Mary Magdalene that were kept shrouded in secrecy by the Knights Templar that could not be told until the truth was revealed by an international best seller.
Oh, and they knew all along that Judas was a good guy; they just never bothered to speak up until after the Gospel of Judas was discovered.
Now, some good news for your correspondent, a liberal: conservative fundamentalists cannot enter Heaven. Only liberal and moderate Christians may do so.
Um, oh, and Moses was a prophet, apparently, as well as an Egyptian Pharaoh, and wrote his prophecies in his "Temple O' Prophecy" from the ground up, with the symbols at the top being commentary on the current generation. I was amazed to learn that some of these symbols depict jets, tanks, helicopters, oil barrels, and an eagle, something that confused everyone for 3,300 years until the USA invaded Iraq.
It goes on, and on, and on. I don't know if they eventually work in the Federal Reserve or the Illuminati, but I'm sure it's crackin' good. Anyway, be sure and get your free DNA test at The True Jesus, and let me know if you're a relative of Jesus Christ and Mary Magdalene-Christ.