Tuesday, August 23, 2005

Pat Robertson: Godfather

Barely days after he called upon God to smite a Supreme Court justice, Pat Robertson is now reaching to a more earthly authority by calling on the United States to assassinate Venezuelan president Hugo Chavez.

Hypocrisy follows people like Robertson as night follows day; it seems to be a natural law. Those who preach against adultery are caught fucking the church secretary. Homophobes turn out to be major league Friends of Dorothy. And the God of love will be your hit man if you pray hard enough.

Is this Karma, or just false advertising?

Almost to a man, these televangelists reach their hands up to heaven to distract attention from their festering little black hearts. (Billy Graham is the exception that proves the rule.) They have a daddy complex: do as I say, not as I do, because I said so, because I have no answers, because I'm angry that my (heavenly) father won't talk to me. How juvenile.

Scream at the sky if you want to. But the rain still falls on the just and the unjust. And you, Pat, don't get to decide which is which.

Tuesday, August 02, 2005

Betty vs. Nicole

OK, I know this is old news, but now that Lauren Bacall is back deploring Tom Cruise's behavior (with good reason), I am reminded of her comments about Nicole Kidman not being a legend so early in her career. Let's see how the numbers stack up:

Nicole Kidman is presently 38 years old. In that time, she has completed 26 films beginning with her breakthrough role in "Dead Calm" (she had appeared in 8 before that). She has been nominated for 2 Academy Awards, and won 1 of them. She has been nominated for 7 Golden Globe awards and won 3 of them. She has a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame.

By the time Lauren Bacall was 38 years old, she had completed 16 films. During that time, she received no awards other than a 3rd place showing for the now-defunct Golden Laurel award. She has a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame.

Bacall's "legendary" status exists for two reasons: she was married to a real screen legend (Humphrey Bogart), and she hasn't died yet.