Tuesday, August 23, 2005

Pat Robertson: Godfather

Barely days after he called upon God to smite a Supreme Court justice, Pat Robertson is now reaching to a more earthly authority by calling on the United States to assassinate Venezuelan president Hugo Chavez.

Hypocrisy follows people like Robertson as night follows day; it seems to be a natural law. Those who preach against adultery are caught fucking the church secretary. Homophobes turn out to be major league Friends of Dorothy. And the God of love will be your hit man if you pray hard enough.

Is this Karma, or just false advertising?

Almost to a man, these televangelists reach their hands up to heaven to distract attention from their festering little black hearts. (Billy Graham is the exception that proves the rule.) They have a daddy complex: do as I say, not as I do, because I said so, because I have no answers, because I'm angry that my (heavenly) father won't talk to me. How juvenile.

Scream at the sky if you want to. But the rain still falls on the just and the unjust. And you, Pat, don't get to decide which is which.

Tuesday, August 02, 2005

Betty vs. Nicole

OK, I know this is old news, but now that Lauren Bacall is back deploring Tom Cruise's behavior (with good reason), I am reminded of her comments about Nicole Kidman not being a legend so early in her career. Let's see how the numbers stack up:

Nicole Kidman is presently 38 years old. In that time, she has completed 26 films beginning with her breakthrough role in "Dead Calm" (she had appeared in 8 before that). She has been nominated for 2 Academy Awards, and won 1 of them. She has been nominated for 7 Golden Globe awards and won 3 of them. She has a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame.

By the time Lauren Bacall was 38 years old, she had completed 16 films. During that time, she received no awards other than a 3rd place showing for the now-defunct Golden Laurel award. She has a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame.

Bacall's "legendary" status exists for two reasons: she was married to a real screen legend (Humphrey Bogart), and she hasn't died yet.

Friday, June 17, 2005

Run, Katie, RUN!

Tom Cruise. What a jackass.

On the Oprah show, Tom can get away with anything. He was on the show with Nicole Kidman; everyone loved them. He divorced her. Nicole came on; they loved her and sympathized. On a later show, Tom came on grinning his usual grin, and the audience wet themselves. He can do no wrong with women (other than the ones he marries or dates).

So on this most recent, now infamous show, Cruise jumped on the sofa and pounded the floor. Many times. Because he was so in love with Katie Holmes. And now they're engaged. WhatEVER. Somehow, to the moist women in the Oprah audience, a multimillionaire movie star who makes 8 figures per film can constantly rub his good fortune in their faces and they will love him for it. Handsome guy marries beautiful woman, but they adopt? Not gay, just "evolved".

I read that Tom hired a Scientoglogy minder for Katie to make sure she says all the right things. Scientology isn't a religion, it's a money-making scheme. Oh, wait. Same thing.

Wednesday, January 12, 2005

The Cheney imperative

From what I can determine, the Latin for “Go fuck yourself” is:

“Futue te ipsum”

Now you know.


Monday, January 03, 2005

Genesis

I have a new t-shirt design called “Genesis”:
Genesis

You can read about it here, and you can buy it here.