Tuesday, November 30, 2004


With the holiday season upon us, I thought I’d take this opportunity to introduce you to a cocktail I invented in June 2003. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you...the Vagabond:

  1. Put some crushed ice into a cocktail shaker.
  2. Add a couple of healthy shakes of Angostura Bitters.
  3. Add a splash of dry vermouth.
  4. Shake well, then strain off and discard the liquid.
  5. Add an ounce of good gin, straight from the freezer.
  6. Shake well, then strain the liquid into a frosted martini glass.
  7. Spear an olive and a cocktail onion with a toothpick and drop them into the glass.
  8. Top off the glass with very fresh (important!), very cold club soda.

angostura bittersvermouthginfrosted martini glassbase vagabond mixturewith olive and onionthe vagabond

Monday, November 29, 2004


Donald Trump is a billionaire real estate developer-cum-TV star, but he’s gone broke once or twice. He’s made some of that back by writing books about how to get rich; I don’t know that he’s written any on staying rich. I will say that, for a billionaire, the cover art on his books is uniformly terrible. They look like they were designed and executed in about ten minutes. I guess that’s one way to maximize profits.

Donald Trump book

I haven't read any of Trump’s books; I’m sure that’s why I’m not a billionaire yet. That and the fact that my father and grandfather didn’t start me off by amassing fortunes. Oh, and I’m fundamentally lazy.

I was watching Jamie Johnson’s revealing “Born Rich” again the other day. Trump’s 23-year-old daughter Ivanka has inherited her father’s chipmunk cheeks, but on her they look adorable. She has her father’s churlish pouty lips, but on her they look sexy.

Ivanka Trump

So Donald, I’m available to design the cover of your next book. My fee: a date with your daughter (you’re buying).

Sunday, November 28, 2004


In the recent Presidential election cycle, John Kerry was given a lot of grief for changing his mind on certain issues, and was labelled a flip-flopper. Rallies of the Republican faithful were occasions for jeering epithets of “FLIP-FLOP!” I thought I’d offer a few of my own.

In the 1980’s, we supported Saddam Hussein; now we don't.


George W. Bush used to drink like a fish; now he doesn't.


During the Cold War, the Russians were our enemies; now they're our friends.


Americans were for slavery; now we’re against it.


God never used to have a sense of humor; now he does.


Kerry/EdwardsBush/Cheney '04

Saturday, November 27, 2004

What’s with the whispering kids?

First, there was Skittles’ “taste the rainbow”. Next it was the Mazda “zoom-zoom” kid. Now we have EA Games’ “challenge everything.” What’s with the whispering kids? Do they see dead people, too?

Maybe the reasoning behind these ad campaigns goes something like this:

  • kids are cute
  • whispering kids are more tolerable than noisy kids
  • kids are smarter than adults, but to soften the blow, they’ll whisper their advice
  • kids are scary (q.v. “Children of the Corn”) and must be placated

Children of the Corn